What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
