He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
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Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
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I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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