Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
