some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
