I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
