I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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