$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
