i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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