Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
