Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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