They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
