so that wasnt chicken after all
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
sarcasm needs its own font
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
