By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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