I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
