so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
