Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
