its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
