TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Randomize
