Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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