Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
