clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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