I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
