Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize