I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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