no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize