You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
