dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
