just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
