THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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