Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
