i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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