I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
