There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
