Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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