Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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