She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
