When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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