i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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