you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
