Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
and you fell through a lawn chair
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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