I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
