Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
