when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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