What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
