am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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