all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
