You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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