Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
