you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Randomize
