sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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