Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
