can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
