One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
