I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
