That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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