I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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