You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
