it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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