They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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