just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
