Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
